Looking through some old Justice League of America issues the other day and came across this ad for Motorific action highway sets:
There’s a couple of things wrong with this ad, not least the first claim from Fred or Larry:
Seriously? “All new cars” have to go through the following?
Who’s driving their new car through what appears to be a brick wall?
At least the above are more run of the mill road tests.
And while it’s not exactly Grand Theft Auto, the introduction of a Le Mans timer does add a little frisson to the car track, but the thing that got me the most was this outrageous claim:
An “automatic service centre adds excitement“?! How is an automatic service centre exciting when compared with driving through a busy intersection, racing against the Le Mans timer or even crashing through a brick wall? What were you telling your children in the 60s, America?
3 thoughts on “Motorific – It’s Terrific!”
Okay, so a couple guess as to why a nondescript, simple-looking gas station would ever be considered an “Automatic Excitement Center”…..
1). You can buy lots of illegal illicit drugs from there, ranging from bath salts to whacky tobacky and even a little booger sugar if Skeeter’s (the older gentlemen who runs this fine, but undercover seedy joint) son is around. Just ask for Junior, he’ll know what you mean.
2). You can buy/procure meth or the ingredients to make meth are easily accessible to the Walter White-wanna be enthusiast.
3). Ol’ Skeeter, and not Ed Gein, was the true influence and inspiration behind the entire Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie franchise, specifically the crazy and demented family. Trust me, when you have that much homicidal crazy running around, not to mention having Leatherface as your next of kin, suddenly the claims of Skeeter’s place being an “Automatic Excitement Center” doesn’t seem so hollow then does it?
4). Related to reason#3, a lot of attractive, but dumb as fuck teens stop by on a consistent basis, providing much needed and welcome fodder to Leatherface and his always-hungry for teen blood chainsaw of his. The joint’s jumping, and so are the pulses after a nice jog in the opposite direction of said Leatherface.
5). If you at all know about the show COPS here in America, then you’ll won’t be surprised to know the “Automatic Excitement Center” is a frequent guest location on the show…..and probably for all of the reasons listed above.
Hope that helped shed some light on this seeming mystery of yours 😉
Hahaha! Man, I bet Fred and Larry are glad you didn’t play with their Motorific car set! I doubt they’d have looked as wholesome once your scenario had played out, mate!
They should, even though I’d have actually made it exciting. Perhaps turn the Automatic Excitement Center into a veritable House of Fun you might say? Ooops, wrong blog 😉
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