All The Time In The World

So, it’s 1975 once more and the Justice League is fighting the Injustice League of Earth Two. Or the Injustice Gang. Or the Injustice Society. Or some bunch of villains that’s teamed up together and called their group the Injustice Something Or Other.

As always, the groups fight each other one on one:

Hawkman’s legs are being tied together by the Huntress; the Wizard’s thrown a huge banana in the path of the Flash; Green Arrow’s been blinded by the Shade; Batman’s been blinded by Icicle; Aquaman has (somehow) been distracted by the Gambler; and Black Canary is being attacked by Sportsmaster.

Let’s take a closer look at that last one, shall we?

Black Canary has stayed still long enough for Sportsmaster to draw a three part target on her belly in to which he’s ready to throw a dart.

Sportsmaster has no super speed powers, no ability to do that quickly – although all credit to the guy for doing a very good job left handed – and yet Black Canary is just standing there, letting him do that, instead of either blasting him with her canary cry or using one of her Judo moves

Or even just kicking him in the balls, which might be more appropriate for the Sportsmaster.

Man, heroes were so much more polite and accommodating in the 70s.

The Authentic Superman

Remember all that fuss when DC did the New 52 and launched Superman without his red underpants over his tights? The internet went nuts (admittedly, the internet goes nuts over just about anything) with people bemoaning the change in a classic costume and probably claiming DC were destroying their childhood memories.

Well, turns out it had been done long before then – like in 1975:

See? No red underpants here, my friends, unless they’re under that “authentic Superman costume.

You too could have a costume that will give you literally “weeks and months of fun“! Sure it might fall apart in nine weeks, but think of how much fun your “authentic Superman costume” will have given you during that time.

All you need do to be “the envy of your friends” is simply “slip into this authentic Superman costume, put on the concealing mask” and stand by for so much fun you won’t . . .

Wait a second . . .

Since when does Superman wear a “concealing mask“?

I don’t believe it – they ruined a classic costume in 1975! How many childhood memories were ruined by this?!

Damn you pre-internet era!

What Sort Of Things?

Captain Action was an action figure from the 60s that had a short lived comic book published by DC; have a quick look at the Wikipedia page here for more info. By the way, the second issue featured a cover that I’ve included in the pre-Crisis section of the COIE #7 homages page which you can find here.

The reason for me telling you this? It’s because of another crazy ad I found in some 60s Justice League of America issues:

A quick four panel story and some information on the toys:

Captain Action comes with “crime fighting accessories” . . . but we’re not going to tell you what, oh no . . . no, you have to buy the toy – sorry, action figure, to find out.

Action Boy? Oh he has a helmet, knife, ray gun and panther.

A freaking panther?! What the hell? I know this was still the era of the teen sidekick but you let this kid walk around with a panther?!

Dr Evil – he’s evil! You can tell by his deeds . . . which are evil! And his outfit . . . is evil!!

And the things he comes with . . . “evil, evil things!

He’s evil, people! EVIL!

Man . . . the 60s, eh?

Motorific – It’s Terrific!

Looking through some old Justice League of America issues the other day and came across this ad for Motorific action highway sets:

There’s a couple of things wrong with this ad, not least the first claim from Fred or Larry:

Seriously? “All new cars” have to go through the following?

Who’s driving their new car through what appears to be a brick wall?

At least the above are more run of the mill road tests.

And while it’s not exactly Grand Theft Auto, the introduction of a Le Mans timer does add a little frisson to the car track, but the thing that got me the most was this outrageous claim:

An “automatic service centre adds excitement“?! How is an automatic service centre exciting when compared with driving through a busy intersection, racing against the Le Mans timer or even crashing through a brick wall? What were you telling your children in the 60s, America?